You know those people you sometimes meet at parties - confidence exuding through seemingly every pore, inner glow glowing outwardly, shoulders held back with poise and grace? Well, I am not one of those people. At said party, you'll find me in the kitchen, head down, engaged in the mechanics of something that keeps me busily avoiding those people because they scare me witless. Innate confidence is a quality I would wish for any child, but not one I seem to have been born with. Tapping away quietly on the web - building something creative in my own time, under my own steam - is so much better-suited to my personality. Yes, I'm a Leo, but the Taurus Rising and Moon in Scorpio I was born under mean I'm better equipped to deal with things in a detached and observational way. Blog As Confessional isn't my style, but maintaining a blog with a food focus has allowed me to bloom.
Of course, the thing that I've wanted to tackle for, like, ever is that confidence. Over the past few weeks, I've been behaving in an uncharacteristically brave fashion and, of course, the pay-off has been worth every butterfly-induced second. Meditation has played a role in this undoubtedly, banishing negativity, accepting opportunity, but having a print edition of An Honest Kitchen to show people - a tangible, beautiful object - has made me prouder than ever of what Kathryn and Luisa and I do. Yesterday, I took a copy along to show Cath and Chris at Books In Print (best bookshop the country, and my old workplace) and was greeted with delight, coffee, and an order. I very nearly cried.
So, the lesson I've learnt this year is this; trust in yourself, in what you do as much as who you are, and in what you offer. If you don't, who on earth will? A friend told me that 40 was a fascinating year, and it was, but 41? Even better.
All of this is my rambling way of offering gratitude to those of you who read, and, armed with a new-found bravery, to remind you that An Honest Kitchen Seasonal Desserts makes a gorgeous holiday gift, especially the print version. If you'd rather see and touch before you buy, you'll find it here:
and you can, of course, order it from our website, too:
Tell me, how are your holiday plans shaping up? This is my Christmas Day thus far. Sitting on our verandah, just the two of us, dressed in something diaphanous and cool, eating a tonne of smoked salmon, potato pancakes and pickled cucumber. Bliss.