It's felt a bit quiet around here of late. There's been big changes going on deep within me, beyond the busy-ness and faster-than-light forgetfulness of the internet. The web has the kind of pace that, once you step off, makes dropping back into it difficult. I'm not entirely sure I want to keep up. Not sure I even know how to anymore.
Feels as though there are more important things to attend to, and, for the most part, attend to them I have.
I've gone back to work, to bookselling. For years I resisted because I viewed it as a kind of failure. In fact, I felt sure it was absolutely the wrong move when everything was so pointedly heading Onward and Upward. I was actually afraid - genuinely fearful - of going back to work because I thought it would mean that that work was the work that defined me, as it had for years before, but the truth is working without the safety net of a regular income is very hard, much more fear-inducing than I'd ever let on. There are also days, I'm not at all embarassed to say, when the only decent out loud conversation I've had is with the cat.
Which is not to say that puss doesn't have anything decent to contribute, but it was obviously Time. Being surrounded with books and talk about them all day, once or twice a week, makes my heart swell in a way that I can't quite put into words. The upshot is that I can make art and earn a wage. Who'd've thought? Thus far, I'm loving it - no responsibility, just good, old-fashioned bookselling. It suits me well.
Then there was the horror of a summer we had which got me thinking about the garden, about what it's best for us to grow and when, and I think I've come up with a solid plan. Our dry, endless summer will be all about the no-fuss things that grow best without much attention (tomatoes, especially) and the cooler months, when there is rainfall up on the ranges, will be the real working months for us. I planted out some garlic this weekend, chicories and mustards, pak choy, that sort of thing. Much more doable, with the potential for an actual break when the holidays arrive.
But for all my claims of not wanting to talk food much anymore, it's almost unavoidable. I'm seeing it in a new way. With a great deal of help from Lesh I've made significant changes to my diet and lifestyle, and slowly I'm losing some of that weight that accumulated while I sat down to write about food. Lesh is great, guys - she's done so much for me that, like returning to books, I can't quite put it into words. Lesh got me back into the kitchen, but in a significantly different way: I prep and plan meals now to free up my brain to think about other things.
I feel like a dunce saying it, but not cooking on the hop every night? Good god, it's completely life-changing.
Cooking lots of things on one morning a week in preparation is revelatory, and I've a hunch that Deborah Madison's anise beets might just be the most brilliant addition to my cooking in years. You peel a few big beetroots, dice them up into 1cm chunks, toss them in oil and roast them until they are cooked and as golden as something so startlingly red can get. You then crush a clove of garlic with scrunchy salt, peppercorns and a good teaspoon of fennel seeds and pound to a paste. Pour in sherry vinegar and olive oil in a ratio of 1:1 and toss through the hot beetroot. Into the fridge it goes so you can dip into it for salads and breakfasts and who knows what else during the week. You should know that it's particularly nice with cooked quinoa, some chickpeas, chopped roasted almonds and some slices of fresh fennel.
Anyway, that's me. You?
you sound content x
Posted by: paula | April 23, 2013 at 10:16 AM
It sounds like an interesting and thought provoking time in your life. I'm glad it is working out and into a better place. Your photos are gorgeous. And it doesn't get any cuter than the cat!
Posted by: Colleen | April 23, 2013 at 11:19 AM
Thanks for the mention love! I really had fun working with you :)
Nice pics too, especially of the cat xx
Posted by: Lesh@TheMindfulFoodie | April 24, 2013 at 01:31 PM
Bookselling seems what's best, at least for now. Enjoy!
Posted by: Denise | Chez Danisse | April 24, 2013 at 02:30 PM
I think i would greatly enjoy being a bookseller.
Mesmerising photos as usual.
Posted by: Suse | April 28, 2013 at 09:09 PM
Hi Lucy! I've missed your presence on the internet, but it is good your finding a rhythm that works for you.
You clearly haven't "settled," as your work is as beautiful as ever.
Your approach to the garden is similar to mine; summer is not the time for greens or peas or tender, wilty things. Summer is tomatoes and chiles, winter squash and watermelons, things that really, really love heat. I work much harder outside in the garden in the winter, though the summer has me working harder inside, putting up the summer fruit and veg.
The beets sound fantastic. I am so loving Deborah Madison's Vegetable Literacy right now. It is a dreamy book.
Posted by: Christina | April 29, 2013 at 10:21 AM
Ugh, I really should edit before posting. I meant to write, "you're finding a rhythm . . ."
Posted by: Christina | April 29, 2013 at 10:22 AM
wow lucy that is lots of change but it sounds very positive and mindful. I am having lots of changes with work and am unsure whether it is better to spend more time at home with less contact with others or at work with some people I really like and some who are just not good news. But I could spend time with books every day - the internet is great but it does pull me away from books which makes me sad. Glad you seem to be finding some balance
Posted by: Johanna GGG | April 30, 2013 at 09:51 PM
So happy to know...
- your book-selling work makes your heart swell, exercises your creative muscle and provides a living wage
- you've discovered a new way in the kitchen, good for body and mind
- you're arrived at cooler autumn.
Me? I too have fallen off the internet & don't know where or when to jump back on. This has been a good place to start.
Beautiful photos. The light in the first -- divine. I hope my eggplant babies will grow up to produce a healthy plant and beautiful blossom like yours. Later this week I will sow beets. I have marked Deborah Madison's anise beets as the one to make with the first harvest.
Must now go and water the thirsty peas. It's like summer here. Too soon!
Posted by: Elaine | May 07, 2013 at 09:01 AM
I burnt the toast then let it go cold reading your post this morning. I was so enjoying getting carried away in another persons daily routine. I too have been thinking a lot about work, my role in it, and how it defines me as I have been unemployed for the past 3 months. But work has finally come, and with it the security I need to relax. As much as I resist the idea of this need for security in employment, I have come to realise I need purpose and some small weekly routine for mental quietness.
May your winter crop be a bumper this year! I have just put watermelons, tomatoes, ginger, turmeric and eggplants in my first attempt at tropical garden! I am holding my breath.
xx
Posted by: Sophie | May 07, 2013 at 10:12 AM