The kangaroo startled me as he turned on his tail and bounded off into the vineyard at the end of the lane, moving on only when I, the intruder, had myself turned around to head back home up the hill. An involuntary oh! left my lips and he was gone before I had the chance to chat – I always try to engage any wild creature that crosses my path - so I whispered to the alpacas over the fence in the paddock opposite instead.
New life, new routine.
Change is upon us once again. We’ve let out our flat but not before a nightmarish December in which we moved to the country full-time, renovated, started a new business and begun building an office with our own hands. For a few weeks I thought my husband, the Virgoan Taskmaster, was heading for a stroke; we had xmas day off and that was it for summer holidays. Don’t think I’ve ever been so stressed. Hope I’m not for a long time to come.
And all the while, bubbling away in the background, was another, deeper change I’ve been dealing with. Menopause. There is a lot more that we know about the end of a woman’s fertile life than ever before, but it’s not something we talk about often enough, not with any kind of positivity. Tales of hot flushes, insomnia, and depression abound, and belonging to a family in which a streak of depression runs long and deep, I shut my ears to the horrors older women spoke about. There had to be a better way.
Pull up a chair and make yourself a cuppa. Let's talk about Menopause.
My periods began fairly early (I was 12) and I didn't have children, therefore, my egg production stopped at 45. For a couple of years before then I was beginning to have to throw the covers off the bed in the middle of the night even the coldest of winters, so I suppose the process must have been underway for a while. It crept up on me is what I'm saying, menopause, and I wasn't really prepared. I'll be 47 this July and I want to write down what I’ve learned, and continue to learn, hopefully to encourage others to minimise the symptoms that the hormonal disruption will bring as naturally as possible.
You cannot escape the process, nor indeed the changes, but management and acceptance, if not openly embracing the thing, are possible. What you can control is what goes into your mouth, how you move your body, and how you approach the world. I cannot profess to knowing the scientific terms nor the scientific explanations, but I DO know what works for me, and if you are scientifically inclined, I urge you to head off down your own research rabbit hole.
I'm going to assume that you're not/no longer a cigarette smoker and that you eat fairly well most of the time. If either of those things is a problem for you ADDRESS THEM NOW.
FOOD:
My excellent doctor started me off, so let’s begin with her advice:
Include soy in the diet, avoid spicy foods, drink plenty of water all of which I did and continue with. I instantly began to notice small changes.
And here’s my advice from the trenches, taken from reading lots of stuff as I am wont to do, especially Dr Libby Weaver, The Detox Kitchen Bible, and Jody Vassallo, but also listening to my body (this will take practice, but please do):
REMOVE:
Alcohol – TRUST ME. It’s the number one liver loader, and your liver has enough to do processing hormonal changes without booze in the mix.
Caffeine…I know, I know, booze and now coffee, but life without it is possible (it will also reduce cortisol – see below). Instead, try green tea as it has something in it that buffers the caffeine, and a dandelion and chicory tea will get your bowels moving.
Chillies are bloody AWFUL for me. Sweats, sleeplessness, all the bad things.
LIMIT:
Saturated fats, refined sugar, refined carbs. Spicy foods. Salt. Salty foods make my body flush red hot, and instantly (so, bye bye parmesan and feta and anchovies, all of which makes me weep a little).
INCLUDE:
Wholegrains, fruit and veg (for B vitamins); oily fish, seeds and their oils, dark greens and walnuts (for Omega 3 that may help with hot flushes); soy, lentils, red and purple berries, dried apricots, seeds and nuts (for Phytoestrogens); anything rich in vitamin D, magnesium and calcium (think mushrooms, bananas and broccoli)
When I found Jody Vassallo’s wonderful, miraculous Beautiful Food on the shelves at werk I knew it was a book I needed to own; she explains Ayurvedic principles so eloquently for a western person, and the recipes are fantastic. Finding her website, in particular this post, put everything into perspective. Menopause creates heat (Pitta) in the body. As a Pitta-Kapha person, I overheat very easily as it is – eating foods that cool and slowing down have been the best solutions. Jody’s suggestions have been invaluable, so I’ll repeat her advice here:
Reduce consumption of red meat, dairy (I'm going to trial this soon, but I love my kefir too much to give that away, so a reduction is maybe a better idea for me), salty and fermented foods (I'm not willing to try this as my Jun and Kombucha are things of great beauty). Listen to your body, and monitor how grains etc make you feel. Remove what doesn’t work.
Include foods that cool: coconut, mint, fennel, lemongrass, rose, coriander, lemons and limes squeezed over food rather than salt and, of course, eat more leafy greens. I like that she suggests in the book to add handfuls of mint and coriander to meals to cool them down. I do this and find it really does work.
BODY:
Eat three meals a day, paying close attention to what you eat. Slow it down, enjoy the meals and chew properly. Make each meal count.
Walk, don’t run (unless you're already a runner, in which case, start to do a little less) – and walk every day if possible. I do some sprints as part of my walking once a week, just running flat out for 30 seconds, turning around and slowly walking back and repeating 3-5 times. Sometimes, I don't. I listen to what my body is saying.
Ditch full-on cross-fit/12wbt/exhaust-a-pating exercise and choose breath-focused practices like pilates or yin yoga.
I made the {almost) mistake of doing 6 months of Michelle Bridges 12WBT at 45. With hindsight, I have to say the very Yang exercise required by participants is a bit too full-on for menopausal women - instead, try doing strength building short bursts of excercise (HIIT) twice a week and rest properly.
Diaphramatic-breathing not only feels good, it actually does calm you down.
MIND:
Calm down - you need to reduce the cortisol your body produces when stressed. This is going to require some thought, but read on...
Meditate, twice a day if possible (upon rising and before bed works for me, and it’s easy enough to work into your life). There’s a great free app called Insight Timer that I use, or if you’re new to meditation and would like some tuition, try Headspace (fabulous and non-hippie, with a free 10 day class that I HIGHLY recommend) or go to a physical class.
Sleep…or more to the point, lack of sleep. It’s killer. My sleep isn’t great, but there are other factors at play (namely pets and a light-sleeper for a husband) so calming down has been the best thing of all. If I wake (or am woken) and cannot return easily to sleep, I get up and meditate. Sometimes it works, sometimes not, but the effect is to make me far more relaxed about being awake. Also, earplugs. They've helped enormously :-)
Remembering that this state is not forever, just for now, will, I swear, help.
LIFE PURPOSE:
This is probably the hardest thing for me to explain, the most touchy-feely, but it's possibly the most important thing to get onto. What is your sense of purpose? Do you have one? If you have children, then yes, they're a large part of your life's work, but what else do you need to do to make you feel fulflled? Children grow up and move away, and you need to know what YOU need to be happy (and therefore healthy) when they do.
I believe everyone needs a creative path. Naturally someone with a degree in drawing will say this, but without many exceptions, I've found that people respond to everything life throws them so much better if they have a creative focus to dive into. What was the thing that you loved to do when you were a child? Draw? Maybe it was to sing, to write stories, to sew, to act. If you don't know what you liked, then brainstorm with pen and paper everything you've ever wanted to do and try each thing on your list until you find the one that makes your heart feel light, your head full of possibility. If you don't have a skill and need one to do your Thing, seek out a class.
Volunteer some of your free time - I garden at a local community centre and it's amazing how other things come my way simply by giving someone else my time. Again, find your thing.
And speak to your doctor. Find a good one you can talk to if you don't already have one - menopause can be hard to navigate, so you will need medical advice from time to time, and there are many things that can help you if you're in unsteady waters. Don't be afraid of medications if you need them - my friend Andrea has a wonderful solution that works for her, that makes her life so much better, and I don't believe anyone should ever be criticised for the choices they need to make.
Thought? Questions? GO FOR IT.
Wise, as ever.
Posted by: Shula | March 02, 2018 at 03:10 PM